11.26.2008

Thoughts II.

I guess this an ongoing running of my thoughts, as I let the melodies seep into my veins and control my mind. As I read the blogs of a younger self and see where I have changed and places I haven't it amazes me that, I was once the person who took the time to write such things. This person, is gone for the better for the most part. Yet, I will always feel my eyes are the gateway to my soul which will lead you to the person Kyle really is. I will let the music engulf me and take me to another world unknown to the rest. A place where complete bliss surrounds me and I can think clearly.

The next thought is that of a crush, in which I hope it may develop into a liking when the time comes. I have grown and am shedding that shy outer shell for an adult confident one . I know enough to know she's pretty fucking awesome and doesn't make me feel like the nerd I am. She even likes when I sing, but I can't. I still get nervous though, not too much though. I am still a hopeless romantic and that might make shit harder. I have taken one step toward her, fearing of the five I make take backward from her.

Hmmm, it's almost five in the morning. I guess I will venture to my apartment now.

Till next time.

Mister Kyle.

11.25.2008

LateNight[Thoughts].

Shit has been quite different, entering a new environment, yet I seem to like it. With a clouded mind, I wonder if opening up with any soul is the right thing? Maturing in ways I would of never imagined possible. Seems still, I am not sure if the person Kyle has grown to be is a person one should involve one's self with, or maybe he's nervous. I realize, I have a habit of taking one step forward and five back, seems like it keeps me from most who doesn't understand. Most times I cannot think straight, yet I force a feasible smile and clear statement.

Back to the reality inside of this mind of mine.

11.15.2008

Unknown[Apology].

Before I can continue this blog any farther, I have one friend who I feel extremely bad about, and for that I owe you an apology. I know it can't take back what had transpired recently, but do know that my sincerest apology is what I do offer.

Yet, I did learn something. Kyle can't be Kyle even yet. The sanctity of my trust was yet once again broken. Yet, I will be calm and revert back to the person I once was. Trust, is something distant and far in the world that I live in, and it always seems if I attempt to open up one person ruins it for the rest of the world. Only one understand the struggle it is to go on each day and to show the fabrications of a smile I put on for each and every one of you. Yet, you continue to push me father into the abyss with hopes and smiles of glee upon your faces.

Thanks, you've lost Kyle more.

11.10.2008

Unknown II.

Lost causes. Not even sure, years maybe wasted. I don't know. I do know Kyle is really gone, who knows where, I know he doesn't care. There's another world inside his mind he runs off to when this shitty thing they call reality comes in to play and he's fed up, so he can grab a hold of sanity. Fuck if he knows. Feelings are for the foolish, he discovered it while being an hard-headed idiot. So he ran off even farther, dare to try and catch him? I doubt you can or will ever, unless he findsthe willingness to go. Enter with caution when it comes to Kyle, the intenseness of emotion I know you can't handle.

11.09.2008

Unknown.

Some say death before dishonor, I feel death before discontentment. So where does that leave me? Dishonoring the sanctity of the mind, leaving I with the discontentment of the soul. No, Kyle does not type shit to seem cool or prolific, this is truth. When I say it not, this is what is on the surface of my mind, when it passes the point I'm scared even music can't push I from. Then I lie, I lie with a smile. Fabrications of happiness overshadow the pain and confusion in one such as I. Yet, you still can't handle it so why continue? In vain I speak and hope someone understands.